My purpose for being here started out with a selfish motive. Even when I think about the first 3 months here I call them “my adventure.” Everything was always about my experience in Bangladesh. Right before I left for Nepal God smacked me on the head with this overwhelming love for the kids. It started when I was going to Bob and Kerri’s house to get something and I heard my name being yelled from the girl’s room. Instead of continuing to do the many things that I had planned I decided to bum around with a few of the older girls. Later that night I sat in their room and attempted to color while I had 3 girls sitting on my lap and one pulling at my hair trying to braid. I just wanted to stay in that moment and enjoy it forever (despite how much my head hurt from them pulling). I didn’t care about always having an exciting adventure. I was finally content with the simplicity of wasting time with my kids. Not even a week in Nepal sounded better than that.
The morning that we took off for Nepal we were outside loading the van in the dark (it was around 6 am). While we were busy getting ready I began to hear Joni across the campus, “Chantel, don’t go!” How I wished I could stay with her. Before we left we had about 15 kids with no jackets on determined to stay outside until we had left. They had woken up early just to be with us for a few precious minutes.
As we drove away my mind wandered to what it would be like when I left for good. That will be so difficult! The feelings and emotions that I felt made me determined that the last three months would not be like the first. The next three months are all going to be wasting time with the kids.
Kakoli and Tisha have started calling me “mother.” It doesn’t mean that I am the only “mother” that they have (they also call Shati and the other caregivers their mom). What it means is that I have become a woman in their life that they love more deeply than I can even comprehend. As a result of the kind of love they show me, I can’t help but love them more than I thought possible. I think about holding them and kissing their cheeks and it brings me great joy.
My favorite quote is found in the book Steps to Christ when Mrs. White is talking to Christian people about their relationship with Jesus. She asks them, “Who has the heart? With whom are our thoughts? Of whom do we love to converse? Who has our warmest affections and our best energies? If we are Christ’s, our thoughts are with him and our sweetest thoughts are of Him. All we have and are is consecrated to Him. We long to bear His image, breathe his spirit, do his will, and please Him in all things” (page 57). If Christ has our heart it results in this selfless love pouring out to other people. When I read that quote I can think of many things that have had my heart in the past. None of them were good things that brought me joy. Now, I choose for God to have my heart and as a result the weirdest thing has happened. I can say that not only Jesus has my heart but the children at Bangla Hope do to. They have my hearts, thoughts, warmest affections, and my best energies. The last three months are all about them!
(As you can tell I have arrived back from Nepal safely. I will be writing a blog soon so that you can know about some of the adventures that I had while I was gone. I wrote this blog entry while I was away from the kids. Last night I was finally reunited with them and it was the most joyful moment I’ve had in a while. My love for them grows everyday).
The morning that we took off for Nepal we were outside loading the van in the dark (it was around 6 am). While we were busy getting ready I began to hear Joni across the campus, “Chantel, don’t go!” How I wished I could stay with her. Before we left we had about 15 kids with no jackets on determined to stay outside until we had left. They had woken up early just to be with us for a few precious minutes.
As we drove away my mind wandered to what it would be like when I left for good. That will be so difficult! The feelings and emotions that I felt made me determined that the last three months would not be like the first. The next three months are all going to be wasting time with the kids.
Kakoli and Tisha have started calling me “mother.” It doesn’t mean that I am the only “mother” that they have (they also call Shati and the other caregivers their mom). What it means is that I have become a woman in their life that they love more deeply than I can even comprehend. As a result of the kind of love they show me, I can’t help but love them more than I thought possible. I think about holding them and kissing their cheeks and it brings me great joy.
My favorite quote is found in the book Steps to Christ when Mrs. White is talking to Christian people about their relationship with Jesus. She asks them, “Who has the heart? With whom are our thoughts? Of whom do we love to converse? Who has our warmest affections and our best energies? If we are Christ’s, our thoughts are with him and our sweetest thoughts are of Him. All we have and are is consecrated to Him. We long to bear His image, breathe his spirit, do his will, and please Him in all things” (page 57). If Christ has our heart it results in this selfless love pouring out to other people. When I read that quote I can think of many things that have had my heart in the past. None of them were good things that brought me joy. Now, I choose for God to have my heart and as a result the weirdest thing has happened. I can say that not only Jesus has my heart but the children at Bangla Hope do to. They have my hearts, thoughts, warmest affections, and my best energies. The last three months are all about them!
(As you can tell I have arrived back from Nepal safely. I will be writing a blog soon so that you can know about some of the adventures that I had while I was gone. I wrote this blog entry while I was away from the kids. Last night I was finally reunited with them and it was the most joyful moment I’ve had in a while. My love for them grows everyday).
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