School is back in full swing and with all the extra work that I have been trying to accomplish I have lost all of my energy. There are a lot of exciting things that have been happening the last few days. Mr. Waid had his 83rd birthday yesterday and the whole campus was so excited. I was running everywhere helping Tuli decorate, bake, and doing anything else that she wanted me to do. The Bengali people really know how to have birthday party and I am a tad bit sad that my birthday is in June when I wont be here.
My class is full of timid but very smart kids. I only have one kid who I fear because of his random emotional outbreaks.. Johnny. Today Tuli was telling him that he did so well on his math paper and he literally started sobbing because he didn’t want her to read his paper.. it will be interesting dealing with him for the next 2 months.
We are getting 2 new missionary girls tonight and a family is coming here for a few weeks. I think there is another lady that is coming here for some reason that is probably important. I’m excited and slightly nervous about having more American’s around here. I’m not use to pale faces with the exception of the few people that have been here the whole time. I have a feeling that I will be like the Bengali people in town that awkwardly stare at white people as they walk by.. I might just stare at the missionaries the next few days haha.
God has been teaching me a lot lately. It is funny how sometimes we can just be walking along and He’ll just kind of hit us over the head with a huge problem that we have had in our lives but have acted as if it doesn’t exist. Yesterday I was informed that a friend of mine that is a student missionary was going to stay another 10 months at her orphanage so that she could be with her kids. Rather than being super excited for her I was a little overwhelmed at the thought that I wasn’t as good as she was Although I love my kids I am super excited about going to American in 2 months and I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t change that. All of a sudden I began to wonder why I wasn’t the “super missionary” that I always hear about in stories at church. I expressed my feelings to Lauren and she just said, “you’ve got to stop comparing yourself to other people.” Rather than trying to deny that statement or feel bad about it I instantly knew that what she had said was something that was painfully true.
It is funny how I didn’t even realize it until she said that but I know that it will now have a profound impact on my life. I compare myself to everyone in probably everyway whether good or bad. I think it is a problem that most people in the human race fight against. We all want to be good or better than the person next to us. I forget that every person isn’t the same and God made us to be different.. it is actually a beautiful thing. So, God has been humbling me lately and it is making my experience in Bangladesh even more special because of the growth that has taken place.
Last night I sat on the roof feeling rather humble about my state of existence. I have finally acknowledged that I am not perfect and that it is impossible for me to keep pretending that I am never wrong. While contemplating all of this I felt like God was saying, “…but I love you anyway.” The truth is that we can’t be perfect while on this earth and everyday we are learning and growing (if we choose to do so). Even though the human heart is deceitfully wicked (Jeremiah 17:9) God loves us anyway.
I am continually learning more about myself and my God on this trip. I love it!
My class is full of timid but very smart kids. I only have one kid who I fear because of his random emotional outbreaks.. Johnny. Today Tuli was telling him that he did so well on his math paper and he literally started sobbing because he didn’t want her to read his paper.. it will be interesting dealing with him for the next 2 months.
We are getting 2 new missionary girls tonight and a family is coming here for a few weeks. I think there is another lady that is coming here for some reason that is probably important. I’m excited and slightly nervous about having more American’s around here. I’m not use to pale faces with the exception of the few people that have been here the whole time. I have a feeling that I will be like the Bengali people in town that awkwardly stare at white people as they walk by.. I might just stare at the missionaries the next few days haha.
God has been teaching me a lot lately. It is funny how sometimes we can just be walking along and He’ll just kind of hit us over the head with a huge problem that we have had in our lives but have acted as if it doesn’t exist. Yesterday I was informed that a friend of mine that is a student missionary was going to stay another 10 months at her orphanage so that she could be with her kids. Rather than being super excited for her I was a little overwhelmed at the thought that I wasn’t as good as she was Although I love my kids I am super excited about going to American in 2 months and I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t change that. All of a sudden I began to wonder why I wasn’t the “super missionary” that I always hear about in stories at church. I expressed my feelings to Lauren and she just said, “you’ve got to stop comparing yourself to other people.” Rather than trying to deny that statement or feel bad about it I instantly knew that what she had said was something that was painfully true.
It is funny how I didn’t even realize it until she said that but I know that it will now have a profound impact on my life. I compare myself to everyone in probably everyway whether good or bad. I think it is a problem that most people in the human race fight against. We all want to be good or better than the person next to us. I forget that every person isn’t the same and God made us to be different.. it is actually a beautiful thing. So, God has been humbling me lately and it is making my experience in Bangladesh even more special because of the growth that has taken place.
Last night I sat on the roof feeling rather humble about my state of existence. I have finally acknowledged that I am not perfect and that it is impossible for me to keep pretending that I am never wrong. While contemplating all of this I felt like God was saying, “…but I love you anyway.” The truth is that we can’t be perfect while on this earth and everyday we are learning and growing (if we choose to do so). Even though the human heart is deceitfully wicked (Jeremiah 17:9) God loves us anyway.
I am continually learning more about myself and my God on this trip. I love it!
Hello Chantel!
ReplyDeleteI look forward to meeting you soon. I am the pastor/chaplain at Milo Academy. Your thoughts on this post are very much appreciated! They made me think of when the apostle Paul momentarily compared himself to the "super apostles," and in the process he wrote 2 Corinthians 12:9.
Thank you again Chantel for sharing. May the power of Christ continue to rest upon you!
I love you, too, Chantel. Ever since I met you, you've been a wonderful example of God to me. I know exactly how you feel, though, because I also struggle with this. So glad you're always willing to keep learning and growing. :)
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